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Name: Seth
Country: United States
Metro: Muscle Shoals
Gender: Male
Interests: Shaving cats, milking small furry rodents, finding new and exciting uses for the word "nincompoop", practicing my evil laughter (it's quite good now), capturing math professors and forcing them to write bizarre math discertations in front of multitudes of people (aka, going to math class), disturbing my peers, and searching the Black Market for "sharks with frikkin' lasers on their heads".
Expertise: I am an expert tight-rope walker, but I can only do it when no one is looking. I am a master chef, but you are not allowed to eat what I cook. I am also a used underwear salesman. I'm also a student learning to be the supreme master of the human race. Fear me!!!!! You shall bow before my invincible sarcasim, ahahahahahahaha.......
Occupation: Other
Industry: Other
Message: message me
AIM:  philoemen
Member Since:
7/15/2005
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| So I'm taking a break for 10 minutes between studying for my calculus
test and my history test (both of which are tomorrow). I'm a bit ticked
off, because I can't remember if the history test is covering two
chapters or one, and I don't have time to study two. Not too mention
that I have to got to calculus class in an hour (5:20 - 6:50 pm). Oh,
and I almost forgot, that bloody Mr. Gaskin (those of you in 4H should
know that yes, that's his real name) said that I have to BUY a ScanTron
to take the test right. Gaaaaaah!!! I have no money, so that's a bit
hard.
Besides that, I found out an interesting fact about one of my friends.
It was....well, it's a bit like getting a dog and finding out after 7
years that it's actually a cat.....as if anyone could be that dense
(lol), but still. And I've been visiting a teen sexuality forum lately,
which has been educational, if not reassuring (seeing how many of my
peers have had sex is....scary). I read a figure that said 80% of high
school students will have sex before graduating. So that was
interesting.
My car is doing strange things. It popped out of reverse twice, and
sometimes it smells like burnt rubber (Hm.....that's probably NOT a
good thing.....). It would suck if it broke down and I had to walk to
EvCC, lol.
I was exploring myspace.com the other day. I don't think people realize
how easy it is to access their blogs. I mean, I went from one person's
blog, to another's (through the friends list), to another (again,
through the friends list), and to another. I also found Rohen's old
blog on Xanga. Lol, you people write some wierd things ;) Although, I'm
not exactly one to be talking.....
There's this girl at the college I have a crush on. I think she's
Chinese...she's really cute. But she talks too much. It gets annoying
after a while, because she's talking in the middle of the history
lecture, and the professor keeps giving me the frikkin' eye. But what
can you do?
I'm planning on buying a bunch of bumperstickers for my car. Here are some of my favs.:
"Come the Rapture, can I have yor car?"
"Work harder! Millions on welfare depend on you."
"51% angel, 49% jackass. Don't push it!"
"Don't piss me off. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies."
"I have brakes. Do you have GOOD insurance?"
"When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you!"
"Pardon my driving, I'm reloading."
"Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an idiot."
"Honk if you know the difference between parody and satire."
"They're not the Ten Suggestions!"
Favorite facts:
"The vast majority of imports come from outside the country."
"Smoking is a dying art."
"Marriage is a very expensive way of getting someone to do your laundry."
"No amount of advance planning will ever beat dumb luck."
"Every year more than 2500 left-handed people are killed from using right-handed products." - True
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?"
"Just remember: if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off."
T-shirts:
"You're just jealous the voice talks to me."
"Don't make me call out my Flying Monkies."
"Finish your beer. There are sober kids in India."
"Dear Al Qaeda, give us Osama or we'll give you Hillary."
"Cereal killer."
"Rock is dead. Long live paper and scissors."
"What if the hokey pokey really IS what it's all about?"
"Cake or death?"
"I've upped my standards, now up yours."
"I'm not good at empathy. Will you accept sarcasm?"
"Just pretend I'm not here. That's what I'm doing."
"Ask me about my violently angry reaction to stupid questions."
"Don't believe everything you think."
"Gee, I'd like to care, but I don't possess that gene."
"What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar?"
"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"
"If you can't laugh at yourself, let me do it for you."
"The beatings will continue until your morale improves."
"If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten."
"Stupidity is not a crime, so you're free to go."
"Aim for the stars, but first aim for their bodygaurds."
"Eschew obfuscation."
Pick-up line:
"I lost my teddy bear. Could I hold you?"
Sayings:
"Some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue."
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| I intend to change this to a more serious blog - a critique of the
Raving Atheist (who, it turns out, claims to be a Manhattan lawyer),
and perhaps a commentary on the news. That is, if I get the time. But I
leave you with some closing thoughts:
"What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left."
"I lost a game of chess to a computer. However the computer was pretty useless when it came to kick boxing"
"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five
miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the
hell she is."
"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'." - Homer Simpson
"I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want - an adorable kidney?"
"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." - Groucho Marx
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
"I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."
"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with."
"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
"If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?"
"USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population."
"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?'
Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'"
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| Great One-liners:
"What happens when you get scared half to death twice?"
"Is it really good if a vacuum cleaner really sucks?"
"Only in America are there handicap-parking places in front of a skate rink."
"A diplomat is a person who can tell people to go to hell so politely that they look forward to it."
"Be nice to your kids, because they'll be choosing your nursing home."
"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes."
"Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!"
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Good doggy' while looking for a bigger stick."
"Eagles may soar, but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines."
"Error! No keyboard. Press F1 to continue."
"Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just lack film."
"For sale: parachute. Only used once. Never opened. Small stain."
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants!"
"I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose."
"If you think no one cares you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments."
"Oh Lord, give me patience and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!!!"
"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."
"Smith & Wesson: The original point-and-click interface"
"Some people drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle."
"HEADLINE: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!"
"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"The more you complain, the longer God makes you live."
"Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all of its students."
"Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?"
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| It's Sunday. I haven't done anything in the last two days, which is
bad. Finally got that bloody atheist to shut up. Honestly, he had no
knowledge whatsoever of logic or science, and his best technique was to
ignore the comment or insult you and try to evade answering it. Lol. Oh
well.
More great one liners:
"Don't hit kids; no seriously, don't. Nowadays they have guns."
"Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics."
"Save an animal: eat a vegetarian!"
"If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable!"
"Never go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge!"
"If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made of meat?"
"Bipartisanship: I'll hug your elephant if you kiss my ass."
"Capital punishment isn't for making examples; it's for making bad people dead."
"Curiosity was framed! Stupidity killed the cat!"
"Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it. Same for you other classes."
"We interrupt this marriage to bring you the hunting season."
"Just because no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist."
"The police never think it's as funny as you do."
"I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid."
"Every time you eat a steak, a vegan hippy's hackey sack falls in the gutter."
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| Uh....greetings earthlings......corruption of your innocent minds by my evil sadistic catch phrases will start now.
"Stupid kills, but not enough to do any good"
"So many stupid people, so few comets"
"I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't fit my head up my ass"
"I'm not cynical, everything just sucks"
"I didn't do anything. You can't prove it. The sheep are lying."
"Tell me, where is this 'bright side' you speak of?"
"Stop animal experiments; use lawyers!"
"You can't make a person love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope for the best."
"Some days it's just not worth gnawing through the straps..."
"Life sucks, and it leaves some mean hickies."
"You're falling short of my expectations, which is sad since I have no expectations."
"When life gives you lemons, SHUT UP AND EAT YOUR DAMN LEMONS!!!"
"I'll try to be nicer if you'll try to be smarter."
"I've upped my standards, now up yours!"
"Come to the darkside, we have cookies."
"I am a member of the vast right wing conspiracy -.-"
"In the US, a woman gives birth every 12 seconds. She must be found and stopped."
"I must hurry, for there they go, and I am their leader....."
"Remember: Pillage, THEN burn."
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